


Robbery Sneezes

by sarahgirl1998



Series: HTF sneezefics [10]
Category: Happy Tree Friends
Genre: Comedy, Cross-Posted on deviantArt, Gen, Humor, Male Sneezing, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sneezing, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-23 23:28:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9687020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahgirl1998/pseuds/sarahgirl1998
Summary: Despite the title, no, this isn't about a robbery. This is about those two stupid raccoons - Lifty and Shifty - attempting to play a prank on the strongest HTF character, Splendid... only for it to backfire. But not in a way that you'd expect; in a way that leaves them trying desperately not to sneeze. This is the only story I'll write about Lifty and Shifty. I really hate them, a lot.





	

It was about 1:00 at night, and Splendid had returned to his Acorn Fortress and had gone to bed. He had been finished saving his friends and acquaintances from danger and the forces of evil for the day. He didn't think anything important would happen until the following morning. But what he didn't know was that his two worst enemies, who were none other than Lifty and Shifty, were planning something specifically intended to happen after Splendid had turned in.

Their plan was to bring a box containing Splendid's one weakness - Kryptonut - and sneak into the Acorn Fortress, then find Splendid's bedroom, open the box in front of Splendid's face, and watch him suffer. Ever since the time they were caught robbing a museum, and inadvertently taking a shipment of Kryptonut, Lifty and Shifty had always remembered that it was the one thing Splendid couldn't handle. If he even sensed its dangerous rays, then he would start to throw up constantly. And whenever he did, the raccoons would just watch and decide to make him feel worse. Even after Splendid killed them out of revenge for using his weakness as their weapon (and died himself soon after destroying the Kryptonut), they wouldn't forget. And tonight, now that all three of them had been mysteriously revived, the evil raccoons had found another Kryptonut rock, and they were going to use it on the Super Squirrel again. And this time, they were trying to go completely unnoticed so that he wouldn't kill them again.

The raccoons were standing just outside of the Acorn Fortress, which was almost completely empty, if they didn't count the sleeping Splendid upstairs.

"You got the stuff?" Shifty asked.

"Yeah." Lifty was holding the box that held the Kryptonut - the Kryptonut box, as he and Shifty had nicknamed it.

"Good. Now let's do it."

Then, extremely slowly, Shifty opened the door to the fortress and looked inside. Nobody was in the room. He and his younger brother started to enter the room. Both of them made sure to be as quiet as possible to keep from waking anybody up. It took them a couple of minutes, but they eventually made it into Splendid's bedroom. What they assumed was Splendid was fast asleep in his bed, and presumably didn't suspect a thing.

The raccoons looked at each other and grinned. Everything was going exactly as they planned. Then, they went over to the side of the bed, right next to Splendid. Lifty put the Kryptonut box on the end table, right in front of Splendid, and opened the box. The Kryptonut, now revealed, started to fire its toxic waves, and some of them hit Splendid. He didn't react as instantly as Lifty and Shifty expected, however. Even after an entire minute, he didn't respond.

"What the...?" Lifty asked himself, almost inaudibly.

"It ain't working, why ain't it working?" Shifty asked himself, referring to the Kryptonut.

Then, Lifty went over to the Kryptonut box, put his hands on it and turned it towards him. He winced as the Kryptonut's rays hit him in the face. His eyes stung slightly, but an itching sensation started to form in his nose, and grew steadily. About three seconds later, Lifty started to inhale, as he needed to sneeze.

"Ah... Aaaah..."

"Huh?" Shifty looked over at Lifty, and gasped in fear. "Oh no!"

"Aaaaahhh--" Lifty almost sneezed, but Shifty shoved a forefinger directly under his nose to stop him from doing so. His breath returned to normal, but he still needed to sneeze. He looked over at Shifty.

"What do ya think you're doin'?" Shifty asked.

"Sorry, bro. I was tryin' to get a look at that thing, and I almost--"

"Shh!" Shifty interrupted again, this time by putting a hand over his mouth.

They both looked over at Splendid. He was still sleeping, despite the raccoons' dialogue. They looked at one another again, fearing the worst for a moment. Then Shifty cautiously proceeded to remove his hands from Lifty's face. That, however, was a big mistake. Lifty almost immediately needed to sneeze again, and started inhaling.

"Aaaahhh... AaaaAAAHHHH... AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH--!"

As Lifty inhaled, Shifty started to panic. He quickly looked around the room, hoping to find a solution, but he didn't think he had much time. He then reached over to close the Kryptonut box, and the rays stopped hitting Lifty. It was no use at first, however. Lifty still needed to sneeze, so Shifty shoved a forefinger back under his brother's nose, grabbed his hand and quickly ran into the closet. What he didn't know, however, was that Lifty brought the Kryptonut box with him, as though he actually did want to release his sneeze.

By the time that they had made it in, Lifty still needed to sneeze, although without the Kryptonut in use, the urge was weakening with every passing second. Shifty took a quick look out of the closet to see if Splendid was still sleeping, and he was. If none of this noise could wake him up, Splendid must have either been a heavy sleeper, or been having one of the most action-packed dreams of his life. But Lifty and Shifty couldn't concentrate on that. They were preoccupied with their current situation.

"You stupid idiot," Shifty said as he closed the closet doors. "We coulda been killed right there. What the heck is your problem?!"

"Ugh..." Lifty simply sniffled and rubbed his nose on his finger. "I think I might be allergic to that thing."

"Wait, what?!" Shifty asked in disbelief. "But that's impossible! I thought Splendid was the only one who couldn't handle Kryptonut!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, what if I did this?" Lifty picked up the Kryptonut box, aimed it at Shifty, and opened it. He made sure to turn his head away to keep the rays from getting in his face, but he could feel the urge to sneeze returning to him.

"Oh, jeez!" Shifty put his hands over his eyes, which started to burn slightly. But at the same time, an itching sensation began to form in his nose as well. He began to inhale as a huge sneeze began to build.

"Aaah... AaaaAAAAH..." 

Shifty inhaled twice, and then shoved a forefinger under his nose. To his dismay, it didn't stop the sneeze. He looked around the closet, not paying attention as Lifty also needed to sneeze, but there weren't too many possible solutions available. Just when Shifty thought all hope was lost, however, he found a clothespin on the closet rack. He managed to bring it down and put it on his nose, and as a result, he managed to stop the sneeze.

"Hey, gimme that! Aaaaahhh..." Lifty managed to say before pulling the clothespin off his brother's nose. Then he put it on his own nose, but Shifty grabbed the clothespin back.

"No, I need... aaaahhh... that!" Before he could put it back on his nose, Shifty felt the clothespin again being taken out of his hand. Before long, the two sneezy raccoons were fighting over it, one trying to pull it away from the other.

"I had to... Aaaaah... sneeze first! Gimme it!" Lifty said.

"No! I... Aaaaahhh... need it more!" Shifty responded.

"This was your... Aaaaahhhh... idea to try and... Aaaaaaaahhhhhh... make him throw up!"

"No, it was... Aaaaaaahhhhh... YOUR idea! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh..."

After a few more seconds of arguing, the clothespin snapped from the amount of pressure. The raccoons held both halves and looked at them in curiosity, almost forgetting about how badly they needed to sneeze.

"Huh?"

Then, however, just realizing how much trouble they were in without an extra clothespin caused them to go back to inhaling to sneeze. Still determined to stop their sneezes, the raccoons shoved a forefinger directly under one another's nose. Neither of them wanted to sneeze, out of the fear that they would wake up Splendid. But they absolutely needed to; the rays of the Kryptonut that they were forced to handle had quite an effect on them. Even though they were trying as hard as they could to hold in their sneezes, they just couldn't do it. It was like the Kryptonut was their weakness as well, despite that it had a completely different effect than Splendid's. In fact, it almost occured to them that it actually was their weakness...

At that moment, there was no longer any choice in the matter. Lifty and Shifty removed their forefingers, and each took one more giant inhale. They were going to sneeze whether they liked it or not.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

They both released their somehow identical sneezes at the same time, and they were strong enough to blow the closet doors right open. Splendid, hearing the sneezes, awoke and sat up in bed, removing the blanket from over his face. It turned out that he was wearing a gas mask over his face, as he had been prepared for what the raccoons would do to him. He hadn't been prepared for the way they chose to wake him up, however.

A few seconds later, the raccoons recovered from their sneezes. They both had only released one, but it felt painful, to the point that they almost felt like they were going to die. Shifty simply rolled his eyes while Lifty rubbed his nose, again on his finger.

"Lifty, you stupid..." Shifty said as he put a hand on his head in pain.

"I told you we couldn't handle it," Lifty responded.

"So you two were trying to defeat me again!" Splendid said, having removed his gas mask from his face.

Lifty and Shifty immediately looked up to see Splendid right in front of them. They couldn't think of anything to say, but Lifty had enough time to take the Kryptonut box, aim it at Splendid and open it. Splendid cringed and tried to look away, but it was no use. Eventually, he started to feel sick and put a hand over his mouth. At lightning speed, he flew out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. From there, the raccoons could hear the faint sound of him throwing up. They just couldn't help but do their signature snicker in response, as their plan to use his weakness on him had finally worked.

Splendid finished vomiting and flew out of the bathroom. It was then that, with his super-hearing ability, he heard the raccoons talking about their apparent victory.

"We got him, we finally got him!" Lifty said.

"Does he know that we gave ourselves away thanks to that Kryptonut?" Shifty asked. "Man, it sure made us sneeze..."

"I know, right?"

"Wait, what?!" Splendid asked himself. He couldn't believe what he just heard. So the reason Lifty and Shifty sneezed so loudly and gave themselves away was because of Kryptonut? But it was his weakness, not their weakness. Or was it? As bizarre as it sounded, it gave Splendid an idea. Maybe this would finally be a chance to defeat them.

He rushed back into the bedroom and hastily grabbed his gas mask. He put it on and then quickly took the Kryptonut box from the raccoons. He turned the box around and aimed it at them, causing the rays to hit both Lifty and Shifty at the same time. They cringed in fear and tried to look away, but they couldn't do anything to avoid the toxic power of the Kryptonut. And they needed to sneeze again, but they tried to hold it back. Splendid took this moment to reveal one of his powers that nobody knew he had. He quickly moved his arm to the side, causing the raccoons' arms to be placed on either side of them. They couldn't move free, but they couldn't concentrate on that anyway. They both released a powerful sneeze.

"AHHHHH-CHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" 

And the next thing they knew, they were inhaling to sneeze again. Splendid didn't try to stop them; instead, he just kept them in their restrained position as he watched them inhale and sneeze repeatedly. This seemed to go on for the rest of the night, but Splendid didn't care. They deserved this for trying to sneak into his house and torture him. And he now knew that Kryptonut was also Lifty and Shifty's weakness, instead of just Splendid's weakness. At long last, the one thing he couldn't stand could be used to his advantage.


End file.
